Feeling alone in your relationship is something most couples struggle with. It is common to think that feeling alone only applies to those people who are single or maybe on their own. This could not be further from the truth. Quite often people in relationships feel alone despite whether the relationship is new or long term.
People in a relationship usually feel lonely or alone because something isn’t quite right in their relationship or within their own personal self. It is up to the individual to explore and investigate the reason why they are feeling lonely and find ways to rectify the problem.
Table of Contents
Why do people feel alone?.
Loneliness is a state of mind that comes from deep within a person and quite often has no influence from external sources. This means a person can be surrounded by so many people and still feel alone.
In a 2018 Pew Research Center survey discovered that around 28% of people are dissatisfied, lonely and unhappy in their relationships. This is a huge statistic to society today which affects people’s mental health.
The purpose of this article is to explore the reasons for feeling alone in a relationship and maybe by identifying the reasons, we can all start to make small changes that will make our lives much better.
- Feeling Alone Within Yourself.
- Insecurities
- Past trauma
- Mental health
- Feeling Alone Within Your Relationship.
- Lack of attention.
- Poor communication
- Abusive Relationships
- Lack of intimacy.
- No quality time.
- Expectations and goals.
- Betrayal
Feeling alone Within yourself.
Feeling alone within yourself is one of the major causes of loneliness in a relationship. This can be caused by many things but until you deal with it you will never feel whole in your relationship. Some of the reasons why someone can feel alone in a relationship include,
Insecurities.
Having insecurities can bring about loneliness in your relationship. This is because they make you feel inadequate or not enough in one way or another. This is something you can work on with your partner but it is important to note that until you deal with your personal insecurities, you won’t overcome the problem of feeling alone within any relationship. Seeking help from professionals is an admirable way to go because it helps you deal with the problem the right way and with the right tools. Once you have dealt with the problem you can move forward with building a healthy relationship with your partner.
Past Trauma.
Past trauma has a way of holding you back and in some cases makes you feel alone in a relationship especially if the trauma is from a previous relationship. Trauma can take many forms, it could be abuse, abandonment or neglect. It is important not to ignore these issues and seek help to overcome these past situations that might hold you back in your relationship. You have to deal with firstly for yourself but also the person you choose to share your life with. It’s not fair on them if you are holding back and not making efforts to get better for the sake of your relationship.
Mental health.
The issue of mental health is another reason that can cause someone to feel alone in a relationship. Mental health comes in many forms. It can be depression, anxiety or one of the many other illnesses. Being in a supportive relationship definitely helps, another step to take in order to improve your relationship is to get help from a professional.
Dealing with mental health is not easy and having someone to guide you along the way will make your life better and make the load much easier to carry. Doing that improves the way you feel inside and lessens the impact of feeling alone within yourself and within your relationship.
HOW TO BE HAPPY ALONE AND FIND HAPPINESS.
Is Feeling Alone Within Your Relationship Normal?
Yes it is natural to feel alone from time to time in a relationship but it is important to address this with your partner. Relationships are not without their challenges and feeling alone is one of them. What’s important is to build the kind of healthy relationship that allows you to talk about such issues with your partner and find a solution together.
Consider taking the Loneliness quiz to see where you are in your relationship. This could be the first step in turning things around.
Can I have a Boyfriend But Still Feel Alone?
Yes it is very much possible to have a boyfriend or partner and still feel alone in your relationship. Feeling alone is a state of mind that has many contributing factors for example, feeling ignored, lack of personal time and poor communication to name a few. Any of these can cause anyone to feel alone regardless of their relationship status. Consider taking part in a Relationship quiz to find out where you are in your relationship and what you can do to get better.
Reasons For Feeling Alone Within Your Relationship.
Sometimes the feeling of being alone in a relationship comes from the way you interact with your partner. It can be small day-to-day things or larger life-changing decisions or activities that might be missing or mishandled. If not dealt with this can leave you feeling alone in a relationship and make you very unhappy. Some of these include,
Lack Of Attention.
Attention is one of the more vital aspects of a relationship. It connects the couple and keeps them focused on each other. Showing your partner’s attention helps them feel appreciated, loved and cared for. It is a way to nature your relationship and directly impact the way your partner feels on a daily basis. This is why lack of affection can leave someone feeling neglected and alone.
A lack of attention can leave someone feeling unwanted and this causes unhappiness in the relationship. Attention can take many forms. It could be through intimacy, regular gifts or spending time together but whatever you choose to do it helps to remember that paying attention to your partner helps solve the problem of feeling alone in a relationship.
Poor Communication.
Poor communication is one of the reasons why people feel alone in a relationship. This is because being unable to communicate with your partner can leave you feeling alone and misunderstood. This can bring up our feelings of neglect and it leaves people feeling like they are on an island by themselves. Poor communication discourages conversation and creates a gap between couples making them unable to make decisions together which adds to the problem.
It is important to realise that part of good communication is listening to what your partner needs, wants and expects from the relationship. This way you can understand how to satisfy them and help them grow every day.
Abusive Relationships.
Being in an abusive relationship can cause someone to feel alone and unloved. Abusive relationships whether physical or emotional abuse should never be tolerated and it is important to seek help immediately for your personal well being. Abusive relationships eat away at someone’s self-esteem and personal growth. This creates feelings of resentment which if not dealt with can cause deeper mental problems and build up securities in the future.
You Feeling Alone In Your Relationship
- Lack Of Intimacy.
Intimacy is a vital part of a relationship. It helps bring the couple together and it strengthens the bond between a couple. Intimacy builds self-esteem and builds confidence within the individual. This is why they lack intimacy and leave someone feeling alone in a relationship. Intimacy doesn’t always have to be sexual but having a healthy sexual relationship that satisfies both your desires is vital between couples. Having an active sex life builds relationships and the feeling of being desired might help eliminate any feelings of loneliness. It is also a way of paying attention and showing affection for your partner that leaves them feeling appreciated
No Quality Time.
Every relationship needs quality time in order to grow. Quality time depends on the things people love to do and the interests you have in common. It could be as easy as going for a walk together or just sitting down over a cup of tea. Tut spending quality time together helps eliminate the feeling of being alone and it also encourages good communication and helps you understand your partner better.
Quality time is important to every relationship because keeping in touch with the people you love and care about brings you closer together and helps you build a healthy relationship.
Expectations And Goals.
Having different goals in a relationship can leave you disconnected. This is because there’s no teamwork, no load sharing and no collective growth as a couple. Because each individual is focusing on their own interests, it often leaves you feeling alone on your journey with no one to talk to or consult. This is why it is important to work together as a couple. To talk about the things you both wish to achieve and support each other along the way.
It is important to communicate and understand each other’s expectations from the relationship. This is because it helps you satisfy each other emotionally, physically and mentally. misunderstanding unexpecting the expectations of your partner can leave them feeling alone and then happy.
Betrayal.
Betrayal is one of the major issues that can cause someone to feel alone in a relationship. Betray can come in many forms including lying, cheating, stealing or even mental or physical abuse. Dealing with betrayal from your partner is not easy.
It takes a lot of work to accept and try to rebuild the relationship. Being the victim of Betrayal can leave you feeling alone in a relationship because it disconnects you from your partner and fills you with feelings of hurt, resentment and anger. The result of this could be that people are unwilling to communicate, leaving both of them feeling alone within the relationship. Some couples are able to deal with this on their own and others seek professional help in order to move past the issue. But in the process of dealing with it, one or both individuals can feel very alone and can cause the relationship to break down or even fail.
When I Feel Alone Quotes.
“When we truly realize that we are all alone is when we need others the most.” –Ronald Anthony Cross
“If you’re lonely when you’re alone you’re in bad company.” – Jean-Paul Sartre
“Loneliness is never more cruel than when it is felt in close propinquity with someone who has ceased to communicate.” –Germaine Greer
“We live as we dream–alone…. “–Joseph Conrad
“Until you get comfortable with being alone you’ll never know if you’re choosing someone out of love or loneliness.” –Mandy Hale
“Some nights are made for torture or reflection or the savoring of loneliness.” –Poppy Z. Brite
“Let me tell you this: if you meet a loner no matter what they tell you it’s not because they enjoy solitude. It’s because they have tried to blend into the world before and people continue to disappoint them.” –Jodi Picoult.
“There were people everywhere on the city street, but the stranger could not have been more alone if it were empty.”― Markus Zusak
“We’ve got a bond in common, you and I. We are both alone in the world.”― Daphne du Maurier
Feeling Alone Quotes.
“Half of the time I don’t know what they’re talking about; their jokes seem to relate to a past that everyone but me has shared. I’m a foreigner in the world and I don’t understand the language.”― Jean Webster
HOW TO LOVE YOURSELF AND FIND HAPPINESS.
“Eventually, we all end up alone.”― Ally Carter
“It had filled my time – given me quiet, steadfast company with those characters, who did not exist and never would, but somehow made me feel less … alone.”― Sarah J. Maas
“He says he’s lonely, horribly lonely because of this love he feels for her. She says she’s lonely too. She doesn’t say why.”― Marguerite Duras
“There are people who like to be alone without feeling lonely at all.”― Toba Beta
. “Loneliness is the poverty of self; solitude is richness of self.” –May Sarton
“The most terrible poverty is loneliness and the feeling of being unloved.” –Mother Theresa
“Depression on my left Loneliness on my right. They don’t need to show me their badges. I know these guys very well.” – Elizabeth Gilbert
Conclusion.
Feeling alone in a relationship is not healthy. It builds up a lot of emotion inside and destroys the bond between the couple. It is important therefore to communicate constantly and to do so in the right way. This helps you understand each other and respect each other’s needs and expectations from the relationship. This will help you build a strong healthy relationship and by facing challenges together you can both grow along the way.
Sincerely Yours.
