120 Simple Funny Quotes For Friends.

Funny quotes that will make you laugh and enjoy those special moments with friends and family. Short quotes that will make you laugh and make your day much better. 

Funny quotes have a way of uplifting us all and making us laugh. Some are mostly silly and not to be taken seriously but for whatever the case the short funny quotes will uplift the spirit and with laughter comes wonderful memories.

Short Funny Quotes About Life.

1. Laughter Is The Best Medicine. But If You’re Laughing Without Any Reason, You Need Medicine.
2. Only Two Things Can Change a Woman’s Mood: 1. I Love You, 2. 50% Discount.
3. Smile Today, Tomorrow Could Be Worse.
4. When Inspiration Does Not Come To Me, I Go Halfway To Meet It.
5. Sometimes You Succeed…. And Other Times You Learn.
6. If Nobody Hates U, Then You Are Doing Something Boring.
7. Always Respects Yourself.
8. Save Water, Drink Wine.
9. I Just Need A Good WiFi & Wife.
10. I Only Need Three Things In Life: Food, WiFi & Sleep.
11. Try To Say The Letter M Without Your Lips Touching.
12. Dear Math, Please Grow Up & Solve Your problems. I’m Tired Of Solving Them For You.
13. If I Am Wired With You Then I Like You.
14. It’s Amazing That The Amount Of News That Happens In The World Every Day Always Just Exactly Fits The Newspaper.
15. Marriage Is The Triumph Of Imagination Over Intelligence. Second Marriage Is The Triumph Of Hope Over Experience.
16. Parachute For Sale, Used Once, Never Opened!
17. I Am Not Special, I Am Just Limited Edition.
18. The Only Time Success Comes Before Work Is In the Dictionary.

Funny Quotes On Friendship.

Quotes between friends to make you laugh as you share time. These short quotes are funny and sometimes encouraging. Wonderful memories to share among friends.

19. They Say Money Doesn’t Grow On Trees, But Why Do Banks Have Branches Then?
20. If You Can’t Do Anything About It, Laugh Like Hell.
21. Never Give Up On Your Dreams. Keep Sleeping.
22. The Password To Your Life Is “Humor”.
23. To Steal Ideas From One Person Is Plagiarism. To Steal From Many Is Research.
24. With Great Power Comes Great Electricity Bill.
25. Men Want The Same Thing From Their Underwear That They Want From Women: A Little Bit Of Support, And A Little Bit Of Freedom.
26. Definition Of Human Being: A Creature That Cuts Trees, Makes Paper And Write “Save Trees” On The Same Paper.
27. Don’t Be Too Optimistic. The Light At The End Of The Tunnel May Is Another Train.
28. The Richer You Get, The More Expensive Happiness Becomes.
29. Marriage Is Like A Walk In The Park, Jurassic Park.
30. We Live In The Generation – Wikipedia, Twitter, Facebook
31. You Grow Up The Day You Have Your First Real Laugh At Yourself.
32. I Change My Password To Incorrect So Whenever I Forget What It Is, The Computer Will Say Your Password Is Incorrect.
33. Women Should Not Have Children After 20. 20 Children Are Enough.
34. Coffee, Chocolate, Men. The Richer The Better!

DEEP QUESTIONS TO ASK SOMEONE.

FUNNY POSITIVE QUOTES AND THOUGHTS.

Short Funny Quotes

35. What Do People Do With All The Extra Time They Save By Writing ‘K’ Instead Of ‘Ok’?
36. My Wife And I Were Happy For Twenty Years. Then We Met.
37. What Do Girls Want? Everything !!
38. Dear Karma, I Have A List Of People You Missed.
39. This Dog, Is Dog, A Dog, Good Dog, Way Dog, To Dog, Keep Dog, An Dog, Idiot Dog, Busy Dog, For Dog, 30 Dog, Seconds Dog! … Now Read Without The Word Dog.
40. Women Marry Men Hoping They Will Change. Men Marry Women Hoping They Will Not. So Each Is Inevitably Disappointed.
41. When A Woman Says What? It’s Not Because She Didn’t Hear You. She’s Giving You A Chance To Change What You Said.
42. Rule No. 1: Women Are Always Right. Rule No. 2: If A Woman Is Not Right, Rule No.1 Applies.
43. Better To Remain Silent And Be Thought A Fool, Than To Speak And Remove All Doubt.
44. If I’m Driving You Crazy, Please Remember To Put Your Seatbelt On.
45. Am I Only The One Who Calculates How Much Sleep I Can Get Before Going To Bed?
46. Can I Borrow A Kiss? I Promise I Give It Back.
47. If You Can’t Change A Girl….. Change The Girl.

Funny Quotes Motivation.

48. People Who Think They Know Everything Are A Great Annoyance To Those Of Us Who Do.
49. I Know I’m Not Perfect, I’m Vintage, Which Means My Flaws Make Me Priceless!
50. I Wish Falling In Love Has Traffic Light Too, So That I Would Know If I Should Go For It, Slow Down, Or Just Stop.
51. They Pretend To Pay Me. I Pretend To Work!
52. I Love My Job Only When I’m On Vacation.
53. The Most Terrifying Thing Any Woman Can Say To Me Is Notice Anything Different?
54. You’ve Got 206 Bones In Your Body, Want One More?
55. I Find It So Inspiring To Watch People Lazier Then Me. I Still Have Much To Learn.
56. My Bed Is A Magical Place Where I Suddenly Remember Everything I Forgot To Do.
57. Behind Every Crazy Woman Is A Man Who Made Her That Way.
58. The Real Reason Women Live Longer Than Men Because They Don’t Have To Live With Women.
59. Good Girls Go To Heaven, Bad Girls Go Everywhere.
60. If Money Grew On Trees, Then Girls Would Be Dating Monkeys.
61. People Say Everything Happens For A Reason, So When I Punch You In The Face, Remember I Have A Reason.
62. Stop Looking For Trouble. I’m Right Here.

Funny Quotes About Life.

63. There’s Always A Person That You Hate For No Reason.
64. The Best Way To Get A Man To Do Something Is To Suggest He’s Too Old For It.
65. The Secret Source Of Humor Itself Is Not Joy, But Sorrow. There Is No Humor In Heaven.
66. Don’t Steal. That’s The Government’s Job.
67. I Asked God For A Bike, But I Know God Doesn’t Work That Way. So I Stole A Bike And Asked For Forgiveness.
68. Everybody Wishes They Could Go To Heaven But No One Wants To Die.
69. Yes, The Early Bird Catches The Worm, But The Second Mouse Gets The Cheese.
70. I Don’t Go Crazy. You See I Am Crazy. I Just Go Normal From Time To Time.
71. The Only Reason I Am Fat Is Because A Tiny Body Couldn’t Store All This Personality.
72. The True Man Wants Two Things: Danger And Play. For That Reason, He Wants Woman, As The Most Dangerous Plaything.
73. Naughty By Nature. Wild By Choice.
74. The only Advice I Would Give To Someone Is To Not Take Anyone’s Advice.
75. Everyone Has An Annoying Friend. If You Don’t Have One, It’s Probably You.
76. Some People Need To Open Their Small Minds Instead Of Their Big Mouths.

CHARACTER AND INTEGRITY QUOTES.

MOTIVATIONAL MONDAY QUOTES.

Funny Quotes To Share With Friends.

77. I Don’t Follow Others, I Only Follow My Orders Because I Am My Own Boss.
78. A Man Is Already Halfway In Love With Any Woman Who Listens To Him.
79. Marriage Lets You Annoy One Special Person For The Rest Of Your Life.
80. Just Because I Don’t Care, Doesn’t Mean I Don’t Understand.
81. If You’re Not Having Fun, You’re Doing Something Wrong.
82. That Awkward Moment When You Realize That “Deleting History” Is More Important Than “Creating History” Now A Days.
83. Don’t Be So Humble – You Are Not That Great.
84. Life Is Full Of Questions. Idiots Are Full Of Answers.
85. If I Won The Award For Laziness, I Would Send Somebody To Pick It Up For Me.
86. Money Can’t Buy Love But Can Buy Women To Make Love.
87. Any Girl Can Be Glamorous. All You Have To Do Is Stand Still And Look Like A Fool.
88. The Problem With Life Is, By The Time You Can Read Women Like A Book, Your Library Card Has Expired.
89. I’m Great In Bed. I Can Sleep For Days.
90. You Can Only Be Young Once. But You Can Enjoy Being Infantile Forever.
91. If You Think Nobody Cares If You’re Alive, Try Missing A Couple Of Car Payments.

Funny Quotes That Will Make You Smile.

92. One Who Wakes Up Early, Yawns All Day Long.
93. I’m Not Lazy. I’m Just Highly Motivated To Do Nothing.
94. Learn From The Mistakes Of Others. You Can Never Live Long Enough To Make Them All Yourself.
95. Maybe If We Tell People The Brain Is An App, They’ll Start Using It.
96. Can I Borrow A Kiss? I Promise I Give It Back.
97. The Only Reason Your Girlfriend Likes You Is Because Her Mom Told Her To Enjoy The Little Things In Life.
98. My Attitude Is Based On The Way You Treat Me.
99. A True Optimist Is The Guy Who Falls Off A Skyscraper And After 50 Floors Thinks To Himself – Well, So Far So Good!
100. It’s Better To Be Absolutely Ridiculous Than Absolutely Boring.
101. I Like Nonsense. It Wakes Up The Brain Cells.
102. How Do You Like Your Eggs? Poached, Scrambled, Or Fertilized.
103. Long Time Ago I Used To Have A Life Until Someone Told Me To Get Into Social Networking.

Short Funny Quotes To Share With Friends every day

104. There Are No Winners In Life… Only Survivors.
105. Do A Job Too Well, You Will Get Stuck With It.
106. Dear Google, Please Stop Behaving Like A Girl. Will You Please Allow Me To Complete The Whole Sentence Before You Start Guessing & Suggesting.
107. If You Can’t Get Someone Out Of Your Head, Then Maybe They Are Supposed To Be There.
108. As Usual, There Is A Great Woman Behind Every Idiot.
109. Only Dumb People Try To Impress Smart People. Smart People Just Do What They Do.
110. They Say That Love Is More Important Than Money, But Have You Ever Tried To Pay Your Bills With A Hug?
111. Flip A Coin… If Head Comes, I Am Yours, If Tail Comes Then You Are Mine.
112. Rejection Is An Opportunity For Your Selection.
113. An Apple A Day Keeps Anyone Away If You Throw It Hard Enough.
114. First I Played Hard To Get, Now He Is Playing Hard To Forget.
115. When I Die, I Want My Grave To Offer Free WiFi So That People Visit More Often.
116. Our Generation Doesn’t Knock On Doors. We Will Call Or Text To Let You Know We’re Outside.
117. The Advantage Of Exercising Every Day Is That You Die Healthier.
118. Seeing A Spider In My Room Isn’t Scary. It’s Scary When It Disappears.
119. Just Saw The Smartest Person When I Was In Front Of The Mirror.

Conclusion.

Funny short quotes to share with friends and family to make them laugh. Laughter can be healing and it brings people together. It helps us create wonderful memories with each other and these funny quotes will help you enjoy the company of your friends and in some cases your very own. These short funny quotes were written to make you laugh and enjoy every day. Hope you all enjoyed reading them.

Sincerely Yours.