Short funny quotes about life that will inspire you every day and give you a reason to smile. They remind us about simple things like how important it is to be happy every day. These short quotes are funny and sometimes silly but they will make you smile.
- If You Tickle Me, I’m Not Responsible For Your Injuries.
- Not Always “Available..” Try Your Luck.
- It’s Funny How People Judge others’ Mistakes While They Also Do The Same Thing.
- Never Get Jealous When You See Your Ex With Someone Else Because Our Parents Taught Us To Give Our Used Toys To The Less Fortunate.
- Life Can Be Fun and Easy If You Choose To See The Beauty In Yourself Every Day.
- Girls Want A Lot From One Guy. On The Other Hand, A Guy Only Wants One Thing From A Lot Of Girls.
- People Say Everything Happens For A Reason. So When I Punch You In The Face, Remember I Have A Reason.
- By The Time A Man Realizes That His Father Was Right, He Has A Son Who Thinks He’s Wrong.
- Life Is Like A Hot Bath. It Feels Good While You’re In It, But The Longer You Stay In, The More Wrinkled You Get.
Table of Contents
Funny Quotes About Life.
- Lazy Rule: Can’t Reach It. Don’t Need It.
- Common Sense Is A Flower That Doesn’t Grow In Everyone’s Garden.
- Save Water, Drink Beer.
- When You’re Stressed, You Eat Ice Cream, Cake, Chocolate & Sweets. Why? Because Stressed Spelled Backwards Is Desserts.
- Beautiful People Are Not Always Good, But Good People Are Always Beautiful.
- I Don’t Like To Kick People When They’re Down. I Like To Kick People When They’re Up.
- If There Is A “Will….” There Are 500 Relatives.
- I’m Going To Stand Outside. So If Anyone Asks, I Am Outstanding.
- Children: You Spend The First 2 Years Of Their Life Teaching Them To Walk And Talk. Then You Spend The Next 16 Years Telling Them To Sit Down And Shut Up.
- When A Man Brings His Wife Flowers For No Reason, There’s A Reason.
Funny Life Quotes That Will Make You Laugh.
- Life Is Too Short, Smile While U Still Have Teeth.
- Please God If You Can’t Make Me Slim. Make My Friends Fat.
- I Look At People Sometimes And Think… Really ??? That’s The Sperm That Won.
- Whenever I Find The Key To Success, Someone Changes The Lock.
- I Don’t Have A Girlfriend. But I Do Know A Woman Who’d Be Mad At Me For Saying That.
- I Won’t Be Impressed With Technology Until I Can Download Food.
- A Wise Man Once Said, You Can’t Be Old & Wise, If You Were Never Young & Crazy.
- I Am Willing To Make The Mistakes If Someone Else Is Willing To Learn From Them.
- Humour Is By Far The Most Significant Activity Of The Human Brain.
- We Buy Things We Don’t Need, With Money, We Don’t Have, To Impress People We Don’t Know.
- Whoever Said “Nothing Is Impossible” Clearly Never Tried Slamming A Revolving Door.
- Your Status Won’t Ever Match My Status Neither In Whatsapp Nor In Reality.
Funny Quotes On Life.
- You Don’t Have To Be Crazy To Hang Out With Me. I’ll Train You.
- Running Away Does Not Help You With Your Problems Unless You Are Fat.
- When I Show You A Picture On My Phone.. Don’t Swipe Left, Don’t Swipe Right, Just Look.
- A Lie Gets Halfway Around The World Before The Truth Has A Chance To Get Its Pants On.
- They say “Don’t Try This At Home” So I’m Coming Over To Your House To Try It.
- My Way Of Joking Is, To Tell The Truth. It’s The Funniest Joke In The World.
- Help A Woman When She’s In Trouble. She Will Remember You When She’s In Trouble Again.
- Boys Think Of Girls Like Books, If The Cover Doesn’t Catch Their Eyes, They Won’t Even Bother To Read What’s Inside.
- It Is A Sad Fact That 20% Of Marriages In This Country End In Divorce. But Hey, The Remaining End In Death. You Could Be One Of The Lucky Ones.
- When You Can’t Marry The One You Love, Marry The One Who Is Rich !
Life Is Funny Quotes.
- Knowledge Is Power, And Power Corrupts. So Study Hard And Be Evil.
- There Are Only Three Things Women Need In Life : Food, Water & Compliments.
- The One Thing You Shouldn’t Do Is Try To Tell A Cab Driver How To Get Somewhere.
- Content
- Hey There Whatsapp Is Using Me.
- Naughty By Nature. Wild By Choice.
- All The Rules Are Made To Be Broken.
- Nice Legs ? What Time Do They Open ?
- Not Always “Available..” Try Your Luck..
- Not All Men Are Fools, Some Stay Bachelor.
- Never Give Up On Your Dreams. Keep Sleeping.
- With Great Power Comes Great Electricity Bill.
- Awesome Ends With Me And Ugly Starts With You.
- Dear Karma, I Have A List Of People You Missed.
- Can I Borrow A Kiss ? I Promise I Give It Back.
Funny Quotes Short And Hilarious.
- 80% Of Boys Have Girlfriends, Rest 20% Have Brains.
- Some People Call Me Mike, You Can Call Me Tonight.
- My Boss Told Me To Have A Good Day, So I Went Home.
- Marriage Is Like A Walk In The Park, Jurassic Park.
- Life Is Full Of Questions. Idiots Are Full Of Answers.
- If Nobody Hates U, Then You Are Doing Something Boring.
- I Want Someone To Give Me A Loan & Then Leave Me Alone.
- Behind Every Successful Man, There Is A Surprised Woman.
- Never Laugh At Your Wife’s Choices, You Are One Of Them.
- Attitude Is Like Underwear Don’t Show It Just Wore It.
- Marriage Is A Workshop Where Husband Works & Wife Shops.
- Zombies Are Looking For Brain. Don’t Worry You Are Safe.
- You Can Never Buy Love, But Still You Have To Pay For It.
- I Hate People Who Steal My Ideas, Before I Think Of Them.
- Virginity Is Not Dignity, It Is Just Lack Of Opportunity.
Funny Quotes Motivation.
- Please God If You Can’t Make Me Slim. Make My Friends Fat.
- A Secret Is What You Tell Everyone Not To Tell Anyone Else.
- If Women Could Read Minds, Every Second Man Will Get Slapped.
- Mosquitoes Are Like Family. Annoying But They Carry Your Blood.
- If School Has Taught Us Anything, It’s Texting Without Looking.
- I’m Going To Stand Outside. So If Anyone Asks, I Am Outstanding.
- Just Saw The Smartest Person When I Was In Front Of The Mirror.
- Maybe If We Tell People The Brain Is An App, They’ll Start Using It.
- Marriage Lets You Annoy One Special Person For The Rest Of Your Life.
- I’ll Be Back In 5 Minutes But If I’m Not Just Reading This Message Again.
- Seeing A Spider In My Room Isn’t Scary. It’s Scary When It Disappears.
- I Look At People Sometimes And Think… Really ??? That’s The Sperm That Won.
- When I Die, I Want My Grave To Offer Free Wi-Fi So That People Visit More Often.
Short Quotes About Life
- Don’t Compare Yourself With Anyone In This World… If You Do So, You Are Insulting Yourself.
- Always Speak The Truth No Matter How Bitter Harsh It Is. But Run Immediately After Saying It.
- Life Is Too Short To Be Serious All The Time. So, If You Can’t Laugh At Yourself, Call Me. I’ll Laugh At You.
- I Change My Password To Incorrect So Whenever I Forget What It Is, The Computer Will Say ” Your Password Is Incorrect.
- When You’re Stressed, You Eat Ice Cream, Cake, Chocolate & Sweets. Why ? Because Stressed Spelled Backwards Is Desserts.
- Never Get Jealous When You See Your Ex With Someone Else, Because Our Parents Taught Us To Give Our Used Toys To The Less Fortunate.
Conclusion.
Life can be full sometimes and that is why it is important to always find a reason to smile and be happy. These funny quotes about life will remind you to smile and be happy every day. These short funny quotes are full of humour that will make you smile everyday.
Sincerely Yours.
