Abusive relationships, often a form of domestic violence, are a serious problem in society today and have many consequences for a person’s mental and psychological state of being. There are many signs of abusive relationships and only people who have experienced such relationships can recognize the more serious subtle ones.
If you have been unfortunate to experience such a relationship it is recommended to seek professional help from a trained therapist. This is because the damage caused by an abusive relationship goes further than the physical and what most people can see. Before we talk about the signs of an abusive relationship, it’s important to know the types of abuse.
Table of Contents
What are the 6 types of abuse?
There are many types of abuse and it is important to know the difference to know how to deal with the impact.
Sexual Abuse.
This is forced intimacy and essentially rape. Sexual assault, which includes forced intimacy and rape, is another form of sexual abuse that can affect both men and women. These are the two most common types of sexual abuse and it can happen to both men and women the same. Sexual harassment can also take other forms, for example, phone calls, voice messages, and inappropriate pictures.
Culture is also known as Identity Abuse.
This is when someone tries to strip away your identity by constantly undermining it and neglecting your values. The abuser discourages you from expressing your individuality verbally or furnishing you whenever you do.
Physical Abuse.
Physical abuse, often manifesting as physical violence, is one of the most common and recognizable types of abuse. It is usually caused by an abuser with a temper and controlling issues.
Mental and Psychological Abuse.
This type of abuse is one of the worst types because it is hard to recognize and it causes the most damage to someone’s self-esteem and confidence levels. It usually takes the form of verbal abuse where the abuser constantly insults, yells, and threatens someone, creating a pattern of abusive behavior that damages the victim’s self-esteem and confidence. It casts a shadow of fear and loneliness on the victim.
Financial Abuse.
This is the type of abuse where the abuser strips away any form of financial ability from the Victim. The victim usually has no control or opinion on how the finances work in the relationship. They simply wait to be told and given irrespective of whether they contribute financially or not.
Verbal also known as Emotional Abuse.
Emotional abuse usually takes the form of verbal insults, yelling, screaming, and sarcasm. It creates an environment of fear and self-doubt leaving the victim trapped.
Signs of an abusive relationship.
Contact accusation.
Relationships are characterized by constant accusations. This is when the abuser blames their victim and deflects their own insecurities on them to gain reassurance.
Verbal abuse.
This type of abuse usually takes the form of yelling, name-calling, sarcasm, derogatory pet names, and pushing someone’s buttons the right way. It is all aimed at tearing down someone’s confidence and self-esteem.
Lack of respect.
Respect is an aspect of any healthy relationship. It should be mutual and extended without question. Lack of respect is a sign of an abusive relationship because it leaves the victim feeling unwanted and unappreciated in the relationship.
Controlling behavior.
Controlling behavior is a form of abuse where the abusive person constantly monitors whereabouts, gives direct commands, spies, makes threats, and lectures. It leaves the victim feeling like the subject and it strips away someone’s freedom. It is a way of imprisoning someone’s mind and another sign of abusive relationships to look for.
Physical abuse.
This is one of the most common types of abuse in society today. It is usually caused by having a bad temper mixed with a lot of insecurities. The abuser creates an environment of fear and controls the victim this way.
Controlling finances.
This is where the abuser takes control of all the finances and decides how to spend within the relationship. The victim usually gets little to no say at all and their opinions are usually ignored. The abuse usually focuses on the things they want and in most cases ignores the basic needs of the victim.
Isolation.
This is the type where the abuser physically or mentally isolates their victims from their comfort zone. Isolation can also extend to cutting off contact with trusted friends and family members, leaving the victim without a support network. It could be physical by locking their victim in a room or house and discouraging them from leaving. It could also be mental where they force their victim to live somewhere remote with no friends or means of communication. Either way, it leaves the victim feeling trapped and alone.
Neglect.
This type of abuse is common in children and the older community. Parents neglect their children or the children neglect their elderly parents and focus very little on their basic needs. This leaves them feeling alone and unwanted.
Manipulation.
This type of abuse usually takes the form of, jealousy, turning tables, using guilt as a tool, blaming others for their problems, and many more tactics. It is a way of controlling the victim.
Sexual abuse.
Sexual abuse, which often involves forced intimacy and sexual violence, includes acts such as sex, kissing, and hugging without consent. It can also take the form of harassment, for example through pictures, phone calls, and recorded messages and text.
What are the characteristics of an abuser?
- Extreme jealousy.
- Verbal abuse.
- Extremely controlling behavior.
- A bad temper.
- Possessiveness.
- Unpredictability.
Reasons why people stay in abusive relationships.
For the most part, it is difficult to understand why people choose to remain in abusive relationships. However, it is important to understand that victims of abuse usually feel trapped and without options. This leaves them stuck in a place they don’t want to be and unable to see a way out of their situation.
It is also important to note that some victims of abusive relationships and emotionally attached to their victims and no matter how bad it gets, they cannot get themselves to leave. Such is the impact of abuse on someone’s psychological state.
Fear of being alone.
Being alone keeps people in abusive relationships longer than they have to. It is mostly because their abuser makes them believe there’s nothing out there for them. And to the victim being in a bad relationship is much better than being alone
Invested too much time in the relationship.
Some people stay in abusive relationships because they have invested way too much time in the relationship. On some level, they believe things will change and go back to what they used to be. They don’t want to see all that time and energy invested go to waste so they remain in the hope that one day things will be different.
Damaged self-esteem.
Abusive relationships have a way of damaging someone’s self-esteem. This leaves them wondering whether they are good enough to find someone else and this self-doubt keeps them in the abusive relationship.
Growing up in a broken home.
Growing up in a broken home has an impact on a child. Being around people who constantly fight, argue, and are abusive creates a feeling of normality. It is these same children that end up staying in abusive relationships in the future. This is because they used to see this kind of behavior as almost normal and acceptable. So even though they might be victims of an abusive relationship, they choose to remain because that is the kind of environment they are used to.
The need to fix things.
Some people have a natural need to fix things that are broken. To such people leaving a relationship that is toxic and abusive is not an option. This is because they believe they can fix whatever is broken. This, unfortunately, leaves them in a bad relationship and they continue to play the part of the victim in an attempt to fix the problem.
Too much compromise and understanding.
All healthy relationships require is a certain amount of compromise and understanding. This however can be a problem when it comes to abusive relationships. If the victim is too understanding this can leave them in an abusive relationship longer than they have to. This is because they’re too understanding of their abuser’s ways to decide what’s best for them.
Waiting for things to change.
Waiting for things to change is another common reason why people stay in abusive relationships longer than they have to. They cling to the hope that one day things will return to a good time and that their abuser will be different. But of course, without any help, someone can not just suddenly change their ways especially if they are the dominant character in the relationship.
Fear of breaking up the family.
Fear of breaking up a family can force someone to remain in an abusive relationship longer than they have to. It is important to note that abuse can affect individuals regardless of their gender, age, or sexual orientation. For example, parents choose to remain in a bad relationship because they can’t bear the thought of separating their kids from their parents. It is also important to note someone can be a bad or abusive partner but at the same time a good parent to their children. In such cases, the victim feels like it’s their place to Sacrifice for their children to grow up with both parents and remain happy.
The downside to this of course is that the children might be affected in one way or another by the characters of the adults.
Conclusion.
Abusive relationships are dangerous and it is important to get help immediately. National Domestic Abuse Hotline at 800-799-7233. This 24/7 hotline can put you in touch with service providers and shelters across the United States. I hope this helps when you recognize the Signs Of An Abusive Relationship.
Sincerely Yours.
